“SHE WAS SO PATIENT AND GENEROUS WITH ME THAT I BECAME MORE PATIENT AND GENEROUS WITH MYSELF.”
-Kelsey, New Parent Pilot Class student
“WORKING WITH HER WAS A WONDERFUL ACT OF SELF-CARE AND I’M SO GLAD I MADE TIME FOR IT.”
-Lydia, parent coaching client
PARENTing & matrescence COACHING
What is parent coaching?
Broadly, I help my clients create lifelong self-esteem and other positive mental health outcomes in their children; and feel more connected to their children and themselves so that the experience of parenting is more enjoyable. My clients range from expectant parents to parents of young adults.
What is matrescence?
Matrescence is the physical, psychological, social, emotional and spiritual process of becoming a parent. (Like adolescence, but for becoming a parent.) Caring for an infant changes your brain as much as puberty does. If you don’t feel like “your old self” or don’t know who you are anymore, that is perfectly normal. I help my clients get to know their new selves, and reconnect with the parts of their pre-parent selves that they want to carry forward into this new phase of life. No matter how long you’ve been parenting, if you haven’t processed your matrescence, I can help.
What I do
create space for you to process the experience of parenting and how your life has changed since becoming a parent
ask unexpected questions to prompt you to think about your parenting and matrescence challenges in new ways
support you to find your own clarity around all parenting decision-making (sleep, feeding, healthcare, discipline, finances, childcare)
provide information and brainstorm solutions when asked
listen to you, see you, and hold you in loving awareness for the duration of our process
Beyond that… every family is unique. Every parent-child relationship is unique. You are the expert on your child, your family and yourself; and no two clients’ processes will look the same. But here’s a little more about my philosophy that will guide our process…
The 12 weeks I spent in coaching with Julia happened to lead exactly up to my child's third birthday and first week of preschool, a huge time of transition in my journey as a parent. Julia thoughtfully and compassionately walked me through a summer of discovery and reflection, creating an incredibly soft space to process what I was discovering. I arrived in coaching exhausted and a bit lost, and am emerging refreshed and with so many tools in my toolbox to parent in the way I want to: joyful, present, creative, collaborative. Julia is so good at this work: she's a phenomenally present listener and has a unique ability to distill a heap of stories/an hour of venting into a single powerful thread. She's profoundly non-judgemental, superbly patient, and a whole lot of fun. Working with her was an act of wonderful self-care and I'm so, so glad I made time for it.”
-Lydia, parent coaching client
“JULIA. IS. AMAZING.
attachment informed
You have a profound purpose and responsibility as (one of) your child’s attachment figures. How you show up for them, especially in the first three years of their life, shapes how they will show up for themselves for the rest of their life. In addition, they are learning to be person from you. You are constantly modeling what it means to be a human being in our world. I help my clients show up for their children in a way that meets the needs of their family, and show up for themselves so they can effortlessly model the values they want their children to carry forward into adulthood.
values-based boundaries
If traditional approaches to managing children’s behavior are not working for your family, I support you to find something that does. I use a respectful/gentle approach to behavior management that will help you hold values-based boundaries while staying connected to your child. I help my clients identify what their family values truly are, create boundaries based on those values, and develop strategies to calmly hold those boundaries even when faced with a child who really does not want to hear it — whether it’s “you can’t unbuckle your car seat while we’re driving” or “you can’t throw a party while we’re out of town.”
ease and joy
The patriarchy is invested in the idea that it’s difficult to care for children. If we believe the myth that “raising kids is so hard,” then it makes sense to allocate all your time and energy to it, let it burn you out, and not be able to organize against the powers that be or participate in society outside of your family. I do not believe that parenting has to be hard. I believe that it changes your life completely, and that it deserves a great deal of your attention and presence. But I believe you can do it with ease, joy, and while attending to any other interests, responsibilities, or parts of your identity that call to you. If it has been hard for you, it isn’t your fault. You aren’t doing anything wrong. You deserve to enjoy the process of raising your children, and I can help you figure out how.
TRANSFER OF RESPONSIBILITY
Imagine a circle that contains all your child’s physical and emotional needs - everything it takes for their life to happen. Before birth, you are responsible for the entire circle. Parenting is the slow, deliberate process of giving your child responsibility for the entire circle, giving them full autonomy over their life. Parent-child relationships are harmed when the parent retains control over something the child should have control over; or when the parent gives the child control over something the parent should retain control over. Parent-child relationships are strengthened when this transfer of responsibility is done with intention and love, without ego, and for the highest good of the entire family. What responsibilities should be transferred when can be a big question that can be puzzling, or even triggering or upsetting. There is no universal approach - I work with my clients to help them make the decisions that are right for their family.
interdependence
A common reason parenting feels hard is that you are not meant to be doing this alone. You aren’t even really meant to be doing this just with a partner. You are meant to be living near generations of elders and close, trusted friends, raising your children in community. That is how our species evolved, and that model has been disrupted by capitalism. But just because we no longer live that way (although you’re all invited to join my commune as soon as I start it), doesn’t mean you can’t have that level of support in your parenting. When you work with me, I become that support, and I coach you to create that community for yourself so you have it in place when we’re done working together.
format & pricing
My signature parenting & matrescence coaching program is 12 weeks, with a one-hour zoom meeting every week, and unlimited text and voice note contact in between.
For parents expecting their first child, or people considering whether or not to become parents, I offer a 4-week program, with a one-hour zoom meeting every week, and unlimited text and voice note contact in between.
I also offer 4-session transition coaching packages for times you need extra support - back to work after mat leave, first day of school, last day of school, weaning, big kid bed, new sibling, new job, first birthday, planned pet end-of-life… This includes 2 one-hour zoom sessions to leading up to the event, 2 one-hour zoom sessions afterwards to process it, and unlimited text and voice note contact in between.
Introductory pricing:
12 weeks: one $2750 payment / 6 monthly $480 payments / 12 monthly $250 payments
4 weeks: one $1000 payment / 6 monthly $160 payments / 12 monthly $85 payments
Limited sliding scale & pro bono spots are available based on need
I do not coach couples/co-parents together or concurrently. Once you have completed, your partner/co-parent can do the program for a 20% discount.